


To Carry the Knight

by irrelevantComplexity



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Child Abuse, Codependency, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, I am probably forgetting something..., I will probably change around some tags or ratings in the future?, M/M, Meteorstuck, Molestation, My first fanfic~, POV Second Person, Past Domestic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Build, Slurs, This is just a WIP., This is so bad and angsty I am so sorry fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:12:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6311032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrelevantComplexity/pseuds/irrelevantComplexity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you have just sailed away on a meteor with your ecto-biological twin, five insectoid with candy corn horns (candy horns?), and a living chess piece who calls himself the Mayor.</p>
<p>For the next three years of your life, you will have one common goal: to waste time. Some people turn to making clothing by the fire place, telling each other horror stories. Some play pretend as their ancestors, or as government officials. Some indulge themselves entirely in terrible romantic fantasies. Some sit in fridges.</p>
<p>You, unfortunately, end up wasting your time emotionally crawling into a hole and staying there. ...Well, until you are forcefully pulled of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Carry the Knight

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit I finally am writing my first fic!!!! I am terrified and excited and terrified ahhhh!!!!!!!
> 
> For so long, I have been too scared of judgement to write my own stuff, but fuck it. Here is MY version of the overdone trope of slow-build meteorstuck Davekat, told through the eyes of my coolkid son. ...Um, let me know what you think? I guess?
> 
> [Also, if I stick with this, it is going to be REALLY fucking long. I write way too much detail.]

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you have just sailed away on a meteor with your ecto-biological twin, five insectoid with candy corn horns (candy horns?), and a living chess piece who calls himself the Mayor.

Somehow, this is not the strangest thing that has ever happened to you.

A moment ago, you watched as two trolls faced your current crew, several emotions reflected on their faces. You did not know much about the trolls, not because you never got the chance, but because, really, you never really cared that much. The two who had stood before you were ones that you had never gotten to know much at all. One was a girl dressed in the same color red as you, with translucent wings, long, voluminous hair that curled as it went down, and a giant smile, like she was finally at peace with something. The other was a boy that apparently had not ascended to godtier, as he was wearing a simple T-shirt and jeans. He had one black eye and one blindingly white eye, which matched the shoes he was wearing. He didn’t seem nearly as happy as his female counterpart, but he did seem to be taking the moment seriously. Hell, you all were.

Goodbyes had been sent, brief introductions and name-matching sessions occurred, and before you knew it you were facing these two trolls for the last time for three years. That fact didn’t really impact you too much; you didn’t even fucking know anything about them. But it wasn’t just them that you would be missing. John and Jade would be on that ship that she was piloting through some “fourth wall” or whatever it was called, so you wouldn’t be seeing them either. It made your heart feel like its connecting veins had ripped and it dropped down your chest, into your stomach. 

To not see Jade killed you. She was a huge part of your life, and you would miss her consistent enthusiasm and energy. Plus, it wasn’t like you had gotten over that crush you had on her.

But John. That was the straw that broke clean through the camel’s back, sliced right through it, killing it instantly, and when its camel child found its corpse, it died of grief. John meant the literal world to you. He was the only person that would actually deal with your arrogant and rude façade not with sarcasm, but with kindness. He hardly had a mean bone in his body, that kid. You had been friends with him for as long as you could remember, and you actually felt telepathically fused at the hip with him. For years, you had never lost contact with him, even if you lived a thousand miles away. But then you met in person, and you had been closer to him than ever before.

And now you are going to have those friendships stripped away for over a thousand days.

Your ADHD had always made it hard to focus, you knew that, but somehow even now it was difficult to focus on one of the most serious things to ever happen to you. You managed to focus on the kids in front of you. The troll boy with noir eyes- Sollucks, you think it was- was saying his final farewells to all of you. Specifically, he was addressing Karkat, although their conversation seemed to be more tossing around light insults than anything. _They must have been good friends,_ you figured.

Finally, the conversation ended. A silence fell over everyone, and in the dead space, it was so quiet that you almost thought you went deaf. You looked over at Rose, and she happened to glance over at you simultaneously. This exact same scenario had just happened to you guys not even fifteen minutes earlier, but the tone was so different. Then, it was laced with apprehension like no other. Now, it was acceptance. Preparation. Understanding.

You expected Vriska to resume her apparent new role as Supreme Leader of Time and Space and Spiders Too, but she was actually standing next to Terezi, looking at her excitedly, contently. Terezi matched that look perfectly. Weird. You had never seen an emotional side of Vriska before. Actually, yeah, she was emotional, supposedly. John had seriously fallen badly for her at one point, so she had to have something to her. But, it was just so weird to associate her with feelings. And was Terezi her-

“Ahem.”

You all looked up at the source of the noise, the girl- Arabia?- who was trying to get everyone’s attention.

She continued. “So… I guess we should probably send you all off, then?”

You and your fellow meteormates looked back and forth at each other before murmurs of “yup” and “yeah” echoed all around. Your chest hurt from pounding so hard, and you realized that not even your shades could contain your obvious anxiety. Luckily, no one noticed. 

Vriska stepped forward, then, with a confident stride and a prideful expression on her face. “Yeah,” she replied cheerfully. “I guess it is!”

She turned around to face the rest the rest of you. “Anyone else got any sappy messages for the star-crossed lovers? Or can we maybe begin our unbearably long trip and get it over with as quickly as possible? If there are any more emotional salutations, let’s just do them quickly. _Some_ people have trouble understanding that concept.”

On the word “some,” Vriska had glanced over at Karkat, whose expression momentarily turned to shock before it immediately went to irritation. He stepped forward. “Oh, wow! Look everybody! Vriska made a joke at my expense involving the universally-known disease I have called ‘emotion.’ God, why am I such a cancerous being?”

“Well _maybe_ you could do something about it then instead of wasting our time here? Just a thought.”

Karkat scoffed. “Well. I’m not the one having some sort of overtly pale passionate love scene in front of fucking everybody. Can you keep that shit on lockdown, maybe?”

Vriska’s smile diminished at that before she scoffed back. “Whatever. We can have this discussion later. I think it’s time that we head out because, really, Karkat, you can confess your black emotions to me when we get on with this journey.”

Karkat started to retaliate, but Vriska continued. “Sollux! Are we ready to get this party started or what?”

“Just waiting on you guys. It would be easier if the insufferable whining could halt for just a bit. Just give me your signal.”

Terezi uncaptchalogued her cane and held it up in the air excitedly. "Let this be signal enough!!!" 

Sollux shrugged nonchalantly. "Well," He took a breath. "See you on the other side." 

He looked down after that comment, like he was concentrating. There seemed to be an odd glow around him, completely blinding. You noticed that under his glasses, a bit of dark yellow liquid was leaking from his eyes, and the same substance was also dripping from his nostrils. Gross. But before you could reflect on it, you realized that he was starting to vibrate and that the energy was a vast glow all around his body, showing little else. There was also a dark yellow film that seemed to fill the air around the meteor and all of you, the same dark yellow that was oozing out of his facial orifices a few moments earlier.

Underneath your feet, the meteor started to rumble. You had looked down at your feet to observe it, and right as you looked up, you saw Sollux instantaneously shove his arms forward, like he was mocking pushing you guys away.

And away, you went. There wasn’t even a blur; one minute, the two trolls were there, the next, they were gone, and the Green Sun was rapidly shrinking in the background. You were suddenly glad that you were godtier, because if you weren’t, the impact of your stomach disconnecting from your digestive system from that huge _lurch_ would have probably killed you. When you recovered, you reevaluated your surroundings, which by this point was a giant smudge of charcoal black, save a large green dot in the distance. Someone should call F. Scott Fitzgerald. Rose would probably love that “actually educated for once” connection that you made.

Rose did seem pleased, you noted as you looked over at her. A look of pride crossed her face too, the realization that “yeah, we fucking made it.” It was then that you noticed that Kanaya was right next to her, and the two were exchanging excited glances back and forth. There was a gleam in their eyes that couldn’t be described as anything else but contentment. 

The other inhabitants of the Revamped Santa Maria seemed to be feeling similarly. Terezi and Vriska were high-fiving and fist-bumping (excuse me, BUNPing) over the initiation of the trip. Seeing Vriska happy always put you a little on edge, since there was an 88% chance she was plotting something particularly nasty, but seeing Terezi so giddy made butterflies do acrobatic fucking pirouettes in your stomach. Ah, yes. Now that you were not focusing on the game, you could totally steal away Terezi. Maybe it would even piss of Karkat and you would get combo points for it.

Glancing over at Karkat, you saw him standing alone, looking towards the Green Sun with what actually seemed like an excited expression. Weird. You thought that guy hated everything. Apparently not the destruction of reality and detachment from the real world for three years. Hell, who wouldn’t?

Behind you were Gamzee and the Mayor. You remembered Gamzee pretty well. Once, on LOHAC, you had sent him this video mocking his stupid “clown religion” or whatever the shit it was. You thought it was funny. He did not. In fact, he apparently had murdered multiple people over it. You actually felt pretty bad about that whole situation. The two you got killed seemed to be pretty good people, even if the horse guy was definitely a beastialist. You also felt bad for Gamzee, too. No one should have to be subjected to Insane Clown Posse. It’s just inhumane.

The Mayor was… well, you didn’t know shit about him. He was freaking adorable, you gave him that. But other than that, he seemed a bit quirky. He was jumping around, his rags flapping around as he did so, and he seemed completely involved in his own affairs.

You were interrupted by an incredibly loud THUMP! and whipped around to see a fridge with chains wrapped around it. You didn’t even bother putting forth the energy to be confused. Fuck it. A fridge with padlocks. It’s common sense now. Bang some gavels and shit.

Vriska walked around to the front of it (you put it together that it was in her sylladex) and unlocked the main padlock. With what seemed like some real effort, causing her to have to lean her whole body away from the door, she grabbed the handle and opened the fridge. The inside was completely empty, with not even shelves, save for a few stains of various colors here and there. Casually, Vriska walked in front of it and gestured to the inside. “Welp?”

She seemed to be looking at you. …Why was she looking at you? You almost opened your mouth to question her apparent lack in judgement when she added “come on, into the clown pound we go.”

Oh. She meant him. You stepped aside and looked at Gamzee again. His face conveyed a wide range of emotions, from resentment to guilt to irritation. He trudged over to her and the fridge, glaring at her without blinking, and stepped inside. He did a 180 once he was inside and took a moment to glare at you. You realized it was only because you were in his direct field of view, but it still gave you the heebie geebies.

Before you could really reflect on that, Vriska slammed the door shut and locked Gamzee away. Terezi walked over to her and threw her arm around her shoulder. “And the garbage has been taken care of!” She had that guilty smile that was unlawfully adorable, and you couldn’t help but smirk at it.

Vriska touched the fridge to recaptchalogue it. Grinning at her counterpart, she declared a righteous “hell fucking yeah!!!!!!!!” before tugging her other arm and saying “come on, let’s get these guys settled in.”

Terezi exploded like a firework into whooping and hollering, and the two half-skipped-half-sprinted towards the enterance of the meteor. Behind was the Mayor, more eager than anyone to be there, waving his arms in the air. God, that shouldn’t be so cute. After was Karkat, dragging his feet, trying not to seem thrilled, and after him were Rose and Kanaya, walking side-by-side with literally one inch between them. Yeah, you would definitely need to keep up on their drama.

Quickly, you glanced back at that green dot, disappearing from view slowly but surely. It should be terrifying. To be honest, it was. But it was more thrilling than anything. For the first time in your life, you didn’t have to fight. For the first time in your life, you could just sit around and do absolutely fucking nothing. You could create the world’s longest song. You could eat twelve bags of Dorito’s in two hours because fuck you. You could run down hallways screaming like an asshole. It was liberating.

So, you whipped your head back around towards the entrance and followed the parade towards your new home.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and everything was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Shh... Can you hear that? Listen closely. It is the sound of me screaming internally. Because this fic is bad. And I am bad. And other people can now read this fic. And make those connections for themselves. Which is also bad.
> 
> ...I'm gonna go stress-eat to focus my anxiety on an external force. [Note: I do not advocate stress-eating.]


End file.
